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Face Of Reality

Wednesday 7th March 2018.

It was an ordinary day. That morning I made my way as per usual to the studio for another day of dressmaking. I wouldn't be doing a full stretch of a day however; I had to leave in the early afternoon for my 28 week check up with my midwife - but that wouldn't stop me from making my way back straight after! I was in busy preparation for my New York bride that would be flying in that Monday coming and I had to make sure everything was perfect for her final fitting and collection...

***

Up went my oversized top, down went my maternity leggings & on went the squidgy cold stuff. For the first time I heard a heart beat, I was in love. Yes, it wasn't 'like' but love! Those 6 months of cold dismissal and lack of acknowledgement just got real. To think I still hadn't made a single baby purchase yet - I mean who reaches this far in and doesn't buy at least one thing!? Quite humorously, myself and Sarah my midwife had an exchange of conversation that I would later eat my words over...

'Rima have you packed your hospital bag yet?'

'No, I still have plenty of time! I will get round to it at some point'

'You do realise that most women at this point have it ready as you never know whats around the corner...'

We exchange a smile, and I made sure to start thinking about preparing it. As Sarah updated my notes, she noticed that my babies size was plotting small against my booking chart, so to be on the safe side she booked me in for a scan to make sure everything was fine. I was eager to get back to the studio, so I promised I would make the trip to the hospital the following day.

Thursday 8th March 2018

I made my way to Solihull hospital for my 28 week newly appointed scan. I still needed to take a tour of their birthing suite so this would be the perfect time to make the most of my visit!

'Rima' the midwife called me out, and I made my way into the private room. I lay on the patient bed as she followed through the usual procedure. She took a look at my notes and made a start. My previous two scans at 12 weeks and 21 weeks were very chatty and usually spent going through all the various body parts of baby, and checking all is well. This time, well it was different. The midwife was silent, I asked if she could talk through what she was doing and what she could see, however her response was that she would update me at the end. Fair enough, I guess she just wanted to take extra care in her duty towards me. At the end she told me to take a seat in the waiting area and that she would come out for 'The Talk' after she had gathered her notes and made a call.

Im not sure which head space I was in, but nothing bad crossed my mind - in the waiting area I thought I might as well check out the birthing suite. While in conversation with the ward nurse to take me around, the midwife who overheard my interest in taking a tour steps out and touches my shoulder.. 'Unfortunately you will not be giving birth here.'...

'Why not?'

'You must make your way to Heartlands hospital now, they are expecting you. Here are your notes, take these with you. They are better equipped & have better facilities there to carry out a more detailed scan.'

'...Ok?'

With no information other then that brief instruction; in a complete bubble of calmness, of I went. 28weeks of casually getting on with life - surely it was nothing to be concerned about. Or so I thought.